Of Growing Adult: Kemurungan Stage 2.73

I am now pursuing my study to the next phase of getting the 'A.R.' title. Sighhh... Cepat la habis 2 tahun.. Tak laratnye lah nak belajar... I miss working. Working was a lot more fun than studying. Despite all my 'meroyan'ness during working, I still think working is better. At least I know at the end of the month, there is something exciting is gonna happen.. $___$ And Friday really means a lot! Tapi, during study, everyday is just a normal day. Hari cuti pun kene datang studio. Hari isnin selasa jumaat tak memberi erti lagi... Hujung bulan dah xde ape yang nak dinanti... Sighhh...

Being adult is hard. Like seriously HAAAAARRRRDDDD... Every single thing I did means something. Macam each and every bende yang dibuat, kene fikir nanti org ni rase ape, orang tu fikir ape. Spekulasi masyarakat. Bende ni tak leh buat. Bende tu kene buat. Arggghhhhh.. I'm tired... I wish I'm 60. Duduk rumah hari-hari tengok History Channel, main dengan cucu, petang2 siram bunga, goreng cucur, tunggu anak balik kerja. Takyah fikir ape-ape.. Sighhh.. -____-"

This semester, I am funding my studies by myself. Self-sponsored. Like the REAL SELF-SPONSORED!! betul2 regret mase kerja dulu tak simpan duit. T_____T
My saving untuk yuran baru ade rm500. RM800++ more to go. Mane nak cari?? Haihhhh... Dah la blanje harian pun dah tinggal brape je ni.. Arghhhh.. Allah is testing me. I'm sure I will get through all this soon. I take this as a challenge of becoming an ADULT!!

Jadi adult, semua kene sendiri-sendiri... Tapi I'm not matured enough to go through all this by myself. I miss my late mother.. T___T

Luckily I still have friends yang always give support to me. And someone (you know who you are) that I curahkan everything. My problems, kemusykilan, dilemma, masalah tu, masalah ni. Tapi now I think this is the time for me to slowly handle everything by myself. Takkan everything nak share lagi since nanti we will go our separate ways jugak. Dia dengan jalan hidup dia, aku dengan jalan hidup aku. Sighhhh.. Can I do this? Alone? Can I?

I.............


CANNOT...


T___________T